Zooey Deschanel haters say hello to HelloGiggles

I’ve noticed a lot of Zooey Deschanel hate on my Tumblr dashboard lately. I’m not really sure where it all stems from, but I’ve got a few good guesses…

1. The New Girl + My Idiot Brother
Deschanel is staring in a new TV series on FOX called The New Girl. It’s basically about the “sexual politics of men and women,” says IMDB. The sitcom preview came up on my Tumblr dashboard and people were commenting on how dumb the show looks and how annoying Deschanel is. A few days after the video was posted, screenshots from the video (of Deschanel) were on my dashboard and people were commenting on how ugly her face is. Way harsh, Tai. The sitcom hasn’t even aired yet and people don’t like it or her.

She’s also in an upcoming flick My Idiot Brother (August 26). In the film she makes out with Rashida Jones, better known as Ann from Parks and Recreation. I wish Paul Rudd was my idiot brother. Oh wait, I don’t want him to be part of my family. That would make things weird when he confesses his love for me. Any way, she probably had a ball filming it and will be ballin’ when the profits start rolling in. Hate, commence.

2. She & Him
She’s in a band with M. Ward. Do I really need to go into detail about what this means? Being in a band with M. Ward means you get to spend time with him, lots of it. You have his phone number and you’re not always the one calling him because he’ll call you occassionally. It also means that you’ve probably been in his house and he in yours. There’s a chance you’ve had a laugh with him too. He’s likely touched you. Somewhere. Anywhere. I’m going to assume that he’s whispered in her ear too. Think about it.

Deschanel has been playing music with Matthew Ward for approximately five years, but I’m thinking the reality of what that means didn’t sink in for most people until this year. And well, haters are hating.

3. She’s kissed Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Probably more than a dozen times.

4. Ben Gibbard
Kissing and spending time with handsome men aside (kinda), she’s married to Ben Gibbard, OK? He doesn’t drink anymore, he runs instead, he plays in a band (a band worth name dropping), shall I continue? I bet he sings to her. They probably sing together. All of their conversations are presumably in song. I imagine they’re living a whimsical life together. You mad? LOOK AT HOW HE LOOKS AT HER. You mad yet?

5. Money
She has it. In great amounts.

6. Robot tendencies
A lot of people say her behavior is fake. She sucks at acting. Her voice is a steady whine. She’s an easy impression. Noël Kristi Wells knows. See?

7. Wardrobe
This is where my jealousy stems from. She got to wear all those cute clothes in that Cotton commercial and prance around to the sound of her own voice. I don’t know about you all, but that’s what my dreams are made of. I’m sure she got to take those clothes home and add them to her (already) stellar wardrobe. You KNOW she has a stellar wardrobe. She’s said that Dear Creatures is one of her favorite brands. I’ve said that before and you don’t see me being deemed their “favorite muse” on their blog. Deschanel even collaborated with Oliver Peoples on a line of glasses. You KNOW she has a stellar wardrobe.

If you made it to the end of this post because you hate Deschanel or love hearing reasons to hate her, I’m about to change things up. I would hate for all of this hatred to overshadow the real purpose of this post — Deschanel’s newest venture.

Deschanel along with producer Sophia Rossi and writer Molly Mcaleer have created a new website named HelloGiggles. It’s an internet destination for the ladies. The website is only a day old, but in time it will feature entertaining content for “smart, independent and creative females.” Even if you don’t care for Deschanel, you might like this.